Monday 17 June 2013

Following No Leader Across The Bridge To Nowhere

[writing from the seat of moving busses and metros]

So I'm off to a job interview, let's see if I can hold my cynicism for long enough to earn a paycheck, shall we? It isn't that I want to be back on the treadmill of endless debt slavery, nor that I hold any belief in the monetary system, but everyone else does and I've not had much effect on other's beliefs yet…

I do have an uncanny way of predicting things... A couple of days ago I mentioned that Montreal isn't certain it even has a mayor, and now we don't, again. Not that saying 'I told you so' changes anyone's beliefs, but I can at least take it as a nod of encouragement by whatever invisible force powers the universe. Maybe we will get to where we should be some day. Until then I'll simply do what I can to try and keep us from getting to where we shouldn't be, and be thankful I don't live in 'Detroit rock bottom city'.

I don't take much comfort in these I told you so moments, because it feels almost as rewarding as betting I will get hit by a car while attempting to cross the freeway blindfolded. Sure, if I live through the ordeal then there will be money waiting for me on the bedside table when I wake from the coma, but I still have to be retrained on how to walk if that's even possible so there was nothing really gained. Hooray for ten bucks, but why do I have a bag of my own shit taped to a leg I can't feel?

Call me crazy if you want to, it is neither the first nor last time that will happen, but I wouldn't call it 'freedom of choice' if I were unaware of the consequences of that choice. For example I just chose to change seats on the bus rather than hope the smelly guy who just sat near me gets off soon. Maybe he'll notice and be offended, or maybe I could simply have puked on him, either choice could have consequences... Then, of course, the unwashed prick could change seats to somewhere I can, yet again, smell his aura... I did not see that one coming. So how am I crazy in dreaming that there might be some alternative to a contrived choice when proof of this just occurred? Sure it was a small and localized reference, but sometimes the best answer is not written into the multiple choice quiz that is life and one must write their own answer.

If you pay enough attention to the details and keep doing the math, the universe will paint the picture for you. And sometimes that picture is simply that we're on a bridge to nowhere:


This was out my bus window as I typed 'bridge to nowhere'.
I swear I did not even see it a week ago when I came by this way
because I was on the other side of the bus looking the other direction...

Sure one could argue that I see whatever is most convenient, but, is being a so-called crazy outcast really the simplest way to live? If you believe that, then I have a bridge to nowhere I could sell you while we're at it. It isn't easy to watch the mindless drones whose drool drips off their chins into the bottomless pit on whose precipice they stand, blissfully unaware of the certain doom which could occur at any misstep. It's far worse that they don't believe you when you tell 'em to watch their step.

[After an hour and three quarters long bus and metro, and bus again, ride I arrive at my interview and interrupt my typing]

Well, that was unfruitful. I arrive to be told this position is not in the locale you thought it was, are you really interested in spending four or five hours per workday on the bus? They also stated that I was not the only person who misinterpreted this which makes me wonder if things were unclear with demonstrative intent. I am certain a did a search by location then applied on those results. I am reasonably certain that I know how to read, otherwise who the hell is writing this for me? I also might know how to use a computer since I've worked in Information Technology for about a decade and a half now which could be interpreted as 'knowing computer stuffs', so I am fresh out of reasonable explanations here...

As I leave my scheduled interview, and board the metro after already having taken a bus "Google Now" reminds me to leave for my appointment now if I intend to be there half an hour ago... FUCK OFF!!!

Not that I feel I need to justify this to anyone.
But I thought this might prove to myself that I'm not dreaming.

And then the metro dies... FUCK OFF MORE!!!!!!

OK, we're moving again but I'm stuck in zero bar land where I can't save what I've typed, so there's still one tragedy of unfortunate circumstances I've avoided...

I would quit while I'm ahead, but I think I might be dreaming... There was a living, breathing lady Picasso on the metro car with me. She was not horribly malformed, but her eyes were very out of place with each other when she looked right me. I'd have snapped a picture were that not a horribly rude thing to do, so I decided not to gawk. But I can still wonder just what the hell is going on with me today...

I suppose it could be argued that because I attack the world, it attacks me right back. But that does not take into account that there has been a proven history, and those who know me would agree, that the world attacked first, second, third, and fourth and I have simply been on the defensive ever since.

Well, I am home after a large waste of life that cost 2 bus fares and led me on a 4.5 hour round trip to exactly where I was. I think it's time to take two extra strength FUKITOL and wash that down with a pint of Irelands finest blackened brain eraser and call myself in the morning...

Cheers!

-DIrtyKID©

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