Friday, 3 February 2012

The word of the year: protester

pro·test    [n. proh-test; v. pruh-test, proh-test]
an expression or declaration of objection, disapproval, or dissent, often in opposition to something a person is powerless to prevent or avoid: a protest against increased taxation.
Well, I guess I can't really argue with this... In fact, from the word dissent on, it's really quite accurate. I still feel like there is something missing, something hollow about it. Dissent, opposition, powerless, it's all there... Oh, right, powerless might not be the proper word.

You see, we've been brainwashed so many times and in so many directions that once we snap out of it we find ourselves hopelessly secluded among most of the people that we know who haven't followed logic to it's only possible end. You know, the ones who still 'care who wins American Idol', or, 'dream of a house with a white picket fence', or, 'start idle banter with "did you see the commercial..."'. While we still care about these people (or, at least, have to maintain some level of courtesy with them), we know there's really no broaching the mysteries that will unravel the fabric of this forced reality, we fully confess (to ourselves) that this person will not survive the opening of Pandora's box.

We are still trapped paying the rent with money we know to be more worthless than toilet paper...(If you were the last human alive toilet paper would be missed way more than money, especially if you are unable to recognize poison ivy). Thus we must go to work at a job we hate because that's where we've been brainwashed into perceiving that a value of money is to be earned, we can't simply follow the dream of doing something we are interested in and enjoy doing and hope that the money present itself when needed.

We vote because we've been programmed to believe that 'not taking part in the system gives us no right to complain about it', or, worse still, 'not voting is communist, anti-freedom, or terrorist' (whatever the kidz are calling it these days).

The layers of racism, and other bigotries for religious or social backgrounds, as well as the ever present 'danger' of that which is not known, that have been propagated for centuries are still alive and well. It might change targets and forgive old 'enemies' but the underlying principle has always been there: when we hate, we don't communicate in any constructive way. We don't attempt to discover how similar we actually are because we are too untrusting of the people we 'must' hate.

And while outraged at the whole damn thing but 'playing' the part so as not to upset the 'status quo' and alienate the people we still deal with daily either out of want or need, there's not much we can discuss. It's true that I know a number of people who are recognizing some of the lies of this construct, but yet it still appears that some topics cannot be broached with some people.

To make matters even worse, I find the occasional blog positing or editorial over these same mysteries, but they sound bat-shit crazy, toys in the attic... Are these people more advanced in their logical conclusions, are they shills here to piss in the pool, or are they actually insane? Then I wonder, is this how I sound to others? Maybe this is how crazy starts; I doubt that I would recognize the signs of crazy under self-diagnosis... I know that I am not a shill, but how could I ever hope to prove that? Even attempting to disprove my part as a shill would appear crazy.

I cannot prove any of what I believe, I have no 'smoking gun' evidence that shows my perceptions and feelings are accurate. There are 'compelling arguments' out there, there are even some leaked top-secret information that exemplify conspiracies to maintain control of an uninformed public, as well as think-tank blueprints that can be demonstrated to be 'well beyond the planning phase'. But alas, the only people truly examining them are the people who were already convinced that something was up to begin with, and so we are stale-mated.

I believe there are so many compelling cases and many visible ties between them, but I was not somebody who needed these to exist to justify the inconsistencies which I always saw between what has passed, and what we've been told happened... The ones who need to be seeing this information are not looking for it to begin with, and they aren't even entirely wrong in thinking that I have chosen to see what I wanted because they themselves are believing what they allow themselves to believe at the very same time. It then becomes the religious argument that my God's more real than your God, while nobody can prove or disprove that either God actually exists which is an utter waste of time and effort, and stokes the fire of belief within each party making their own argument sound even more compelling to themselves, but not to the opposing side.

I know my fake money argument is the most difficult one to present because everybody has touched money, held it in their hands, carried it in their wallet, etc. It is far easier to prove the existence of money than God and therefore almost impossible to prove it's non-existence especially since everybody believes in money while God has been loosing some ground over the last couple of centuries due to the intangible nature used to depict God. It doesn't help that I have never shown exemplary knowledge of how to use (or abuse) money, so I stand atop a rather short and narrow soapbox in my attempt to spread such 'heresy'.

Could some of these people we tip-toe around even handle the void that fills with anger after their final enlightenment wherein they understand that the majority of things they've been taught and trained are an outright lie. It really is a test of stamina to consciously listen to the news and subconsciously hear what isn't being said while maintaining a calm enough demeanor to continue to listen rather than throw things at the television. It is a test of will power to not be drawn into the branded arguments, sponsored debates, endorsed opinions, irrelevant polls, and completely false fascia presented to us both consciously and subconsciously by the media under the guise of investigative journalism.

Would these people simply turn against us, shoo us off and never be seen or heard from again? I have been advised by someone close to me that I am not to research or publish my 'unpopular' thoughts from their IP address for their fear of association with my beliefs. I would consider that as being shooed, and distanced.

They tried to be as nice as they could in this request which felt even more hypocritical in that, they either believe that I am bat-shit crazy, or think I am on the top 10 most wanted list but don't want antagonize me into doing whatever criminally insane people might do. Yet I don't even feel that I am hitting any truly extreme topics in these blog posts compared with some of the things that I have read. I point at and name call politicians, but the last time I checked, that is legal and done even amongst politicians during their work hours; meaning I pay them to name call and point at each other, so I must be allowed to do it myself for free. I examine laws, policies, and words so as to demonstrate my perspective and illustrate with precision why I don't feel all warm and gooey inside, which is also not against the law (especially when a proposed law would possibly be misconstrued so as to make such illustration illegal).

But I am not allowed to do this somewhere out of respect for a person who has just called me a 'bat-shit crazy murdering terrorist' (or 'conspiracy theorist', I don't remember the exact verbiage used)? I was apparently very misinformed about respect being a two-way agreement, which makes me sad because I thought that was one of the few truths that remained.

It's true, I am somewhat antisocial, but I am not an outright isolationist, and so now I tip-toe around the issues in person while I place my thoughts out in the open because they have to go somewhere. I hide under my pseudonym more to not embarrass those around me with my bat-shit crazy 'Fox Mulder-dom' than to actually hide my identity... Many who know me, already know this pseudonym, and have for over a decade, I am not hiding in fear but protecting the fragile psyches of those around me from being stigmatized. I am used to being labelled as different, I am used to not fitting in with the crowd. I never really gave 'fitting in' much concern nor effort so I do not feel like I have failed at it. It is a greater travesty to loose one's self in the drone of the crowd because you loose sight of where you end and the crowd begins and begets sudden paralysis when the connection to the hive is lost.

Therein is the hopelessness and powerlessness; the gnarly ball of twine, the hive of programmed drones intermingled and even assisting to propagate the lie because they still believe it. They still require the lie to exist lest they cease to function. And our humanity forces us into complacency because we've all, at least once, been punched in the face by the person we were attempting to wake from a nightmare. ..."The Matrix is everywhere, even now in this very room" -- Morpheus

All we can do is gather in public and hope others understand and join in what I am not certain really *is* a protest... Because how can you protest *everything* anyway?


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