I'm Not He Though He Might Be Me

I admit I've not been keeping up on all the 'news' lately, which is not to say I am unaware of a third Asian passenger jet performing odd aerial maneuvers into the bottom of the ocean because somehow these things find me... I simply don't have links... Not that i can't find things to talk about, or come up with linkage to the things which piss me off, I always can, but the time constraints on doing so are rather off-putting...

Today, I thought it might be fun to list the many fucked gripes which I'm sure afflict many of us in this first-world idiocy of daily survival...

Plastic bags. There are now stores which charge us per bag we need to put our groceries into thanks to some assholeish green tax, yet, years ago, some assholeish save-the-trees group of douchbags managed to get paper bags abolished and boxes, which all of these products arrived in are recycled... There is no logic which makes oil based non degradable, barely recyclable, inferior solutions better by charging a nickel each while trees grow via the magic of nature...

It is presently illegal to be on a bus without valid proof of payment, i.e. a valid transfer... Transfers used to be optional, non-mag stripped smaller papers, making them easier to recycle and less waste overall... Where are the save-the-planet pricks now? Also notable, the OPUS (aka Orange) machines on buses are more frequently broken than the former optional transfer making machines so payment is often not actually available... And third on this topic, these electronic passes cost us, need to be replaced on an expiration date, and were already hacked in other areas before their introduction here... Tell me how this solved counterfeiting if I only need a cell phone, software, and a bit of ambition rather than a printing press and magnetic strip writer?

I gripe about the transit system as I get on a bus which is either ten minutes late, or eleven minutes early according to the recently modified schedule which seems to force me to leave fifteen minutes earlier to minimize my standing in the Arctic tundra... So now I leave the house two hours before work, to get to a place that is a fifteen minute drive... As such time becomes more precious and leads back to the aforementioned fuck links...

The mind-numbingly illogical decisions of bureaucrats who seem to have attended the same school of bad decision making and the fine arts of embezzlement academy all work in some hive mind grouping. I laugh at the requirement of presenting a birth certificate to prove I exist any time I deal with some government entity that didn't exist ten minutes ago, yet now, I somehow need to deal with... Maybe it's the irony that whichever entity this is should be proving their right to exist to me, or maybe they really are pod people who can't prove they were born because, well, birth implies a mother at the very least.

They always want the original document mailed to them... But if you really must, appear in person, just drop by our only inconveniently located office on any Tuesday whose date is divisible by three *unless the full moon is within 36 hours+/-* between 9 and 9:15 where an unpleasant troll will make and authorize photocopies for you then carefully file them in a special filing-cabinet / paper-shredder... You will be contacted in 6 to 8 weeks to be asked why you haven't yet sent in the paperwork and promptly threatened with prison or waterboarding depending on the mood of whomever drew the short straw and had to call you... Imagine all the trouble you could have spared yourself had you simply lost the $800 notarized original in the mail... If they work for 'us' we need to fire them, yet they are the only ones with job security these days due to an extreme lack of thoroughly incompetent and malevolently evil pod-people in today's world.

I presently have to reapply to beg for a pardon for failing a breathalyzer almost 9 years ago (a crime as bad as murder, and worse than stealing the retirement funds of a hundred thousand people because I needed a bigger yacht), because, last last year I applied before the mandatory 5 years had passed. I know that the laws of mathematics have changed and that these days there is no '2', and that the laws have now changed and everything I paid for before has now expired granting me the privilege of paying the new and improved fees I can not afford due to a criminal record denying me better paid jobs.

I am not Charlie because I am dirt©. My solidarity is exemplified in not standing in large groups chanting 'I am conform' like everyone else. Sure I am in support of everyone's right not to be gunned down for expressing their ideas, I mean, I'm here doing precisely that... Whether they are correct or not remains to be seen but we should all have the right to express ideas and opinions, and hold a vigil by doing exactly that not chanting some catch-phrase supposedly supporting freedom of the press while not realizing we didn't have it last week and being Charlie doesn't give it to us next week... I am not the press, and my freedom to say whatever I chose to say came by claiming it for myself and owning it wherever I go... Maybe Charlie is me, but I'm no Charlie: bound by sponsors and readership numbers...

It all weighs down, and keeps down as intended. Concrete shoes for the spirit and fire to burn off the fuel needed to resist. And more and more bizarre hostilities from the day to day folks who don't actually know why this anger exists nor who to launch it at, yet I'm crazy if I feel resonance from this discord. Somewhere along the lines of time all of it will reek of sabotage, but it won't be my universe destroyed once people smell the roof on fire as my universe includes the endless possibilities including the ones where I am wrong. I am a best case/worst case daydreamer of possibilities and measurer of probabilities, nothing more, nothing less.

-dirtykid©