The Blessings of Black Days & Killings Of JFKs

I suppose it's about time I post something about shit that doesn't directly involve me, maybe simply for nostalgia's sake, since for the most part everything points back to the same places... Yes, regardless of how you slice it up things tend to happen because money changed hands and promises were made in some dimly lit parking garage or backroom. I understand the plan has always been to keep most people stupid like a fox, and as it happened, I just saw stupid on prime-time TV...

Some new game show in which the contestant was asked what a Grammy Award is shaped like: A) a megaphone, B) a microphone, C) a gramophone... Wouldn't you know it, stupid needed 2 lifelines and still seemed unsure... Then, it got worse... We find out on 'ask the mob' that under half of this so called mob had the right answer... It was at least more than the 33% attrition rate of randomly guessing from 3 possible answers, but not by enough to make me warm and fuzzy inside...

Digressing... Far from here...

Interweb Facades and Yellow Flag Parades

I figure, I should possibly put this out here to try and justify that I am both human and fallible.... Not that I feel any innate need to prove myself to anyone in particular, but simply to try and knock my overtly large ego down a peg or two.

I was duped by someone recently, not in any large way like sending money to a Nigerian prince or ending up in the sex-slave market, nor any other of those horrendous tales you hear occurring in the underbelly of human horrors all to often these days... No mine was more of a social dupe where somebody was playing the part of someone they were not. I won't say there were no tell-tale signs that this person was not who they claimed to be, but alarmingly, none of my normal red alerts fully triggered themselves. They just yellow-flagged certain details as being off. Eventually, this person felt guilty and confessed, or they felt that a third slip up would completely unravel the entire cover-story... I cannot be sure which it was because the sequence of events past don't rearrange themselves according to my desires, if they did, I'd have won a few lotteries by now.

But life goes on. Gut feelings are still gut feelings and maybe there are certain subtleties not as easily felt... I could blame it all on my desire to trust that people want to be honest, good, and loving over deceptive, malicious, and self-centered. I know this is in direct conflict to this age of materialism, personal gratification, and self-loathing, but I cannot simply give up and trust in nothing and nobody in a world already super saturated in its own artificiality. What would that leave? Might as well apply for a job at Dewey, Falkham, & Howe if only to splatter my gray matter all over the 35th floor corner office within the first month... Nobody can convince me that's how I end, not even me.

So I pick myself up and brush off the grass stains and dust and press onward down the seldom walked roads just a little wiser. Maybe I'll pay more heed to the yellow flags littering the landscape, or maybe I'll keep finding the same intersection at Benefit & Doubt, but it isn't me who will lose sleep over whatever comes next... But then I haven't lost sleep over what came last either...

-dirtykid©

Reprise, Rinse, Repeat

I had mentioned in a previous post that I am not spending as much time following the news as I used to, because I find the repetitive nature of the cyclonic vortex into the depths of utter insanity to be rather a tedious bore. Coincidentally, this has led to a large reduction in the number of angry rants appearing in this blog... However... I do still pay attention to things because I am apparently a masochist, or I give a shit, or something.

My city has it's first 'actually elected' mayor after a series of, arresting the last corrupt bastard 3 times over. Not that I feel very differently about this jackoff than any of his predecessors, and figure it's simply a matter of a year at most before this guy is embroiled in some scandal. I mean, the reality is this: I live in the Detroit of Canada with all the crime in city Hall instead of the streets and bankruptcy date as yet undetermined... Maybe this mayor will have that Rob Ford syndrome of forgetting the time he smoked crack because he was drunk... Hmmmmm, Rob Ford, Betty Ford, relatives? I wonder...

Blasé and humdrum... You never really have to look far to see things which are criminal to some, yet are common practice to those who perceive themselves immune to laws. The avarice has consumed their ability or desire to remain covert and patient. This is the only logical conclusion one can come to unless one truly wishes to believe these behavioral patterns are some new phenomenon, on whom the sole blame must by the internet. I neither wish nor believe that poor excuse, but I am certain it's being toted about by many of the special interests as some sort of rallying call.

Many of us are aware that the internet was never intended for the general populace to use as anything but a vehicle for cat videos or anal gape rape porn. It was commercialized to make fake money cross fake lines on a map easier, yet, funny enough, we figured out that it was invented as a means of sharing information and knowledge... So it's been an enemy and fall guy ever since.

I'm not sure why it's been so hard for those who own everything to dissuade the rest of everyone from believing there could be anything altruistic about the cat video porn delivery system. Maybe one to many cats were let out of the bag, and now there's no way that genie fits back in the bottle.

Well this feels like the end of the post even if I've made one, none, or many points... I don't recall characterizing myself as consistent, anyway... Note: I will attempt to update this post with the intended links, but since my PC just decided it can't find windows, and adding links from my phone is a large pain in my ass, this may take a day or 2.

-dirtykid©

A New Hope

There have been many latent and slow changes apparent to me of late. I'm not entirely certain how long it's been happening nor how much longer it will take to happen. I've begun to see both sides of the coin now as I appear to find the beauty hidden beneath layers of well varnished ugly as well as all the ugly which has always masqueraded as beauty. I find an odd sense of love being much simpler to hand out than contempt and give less that half a shit if there were any reciprocity to follow. When I've been outside (which I do still avoid to some degree) I feel a sense of the kindred human spirit reflected in the faces of most strangers save for a few really bad eggs... Mostly those bad eggs appear to be limited to the stewards of corporate guardianship who may smell the stench of humanity on my skin or see some radiant aura of 'bad for business' enter the interview room moments before I do, but I can only speculate into things I cannot see, smell, hear, taste, nor touch.

Maybe this all stems from some sense of when not to go outside, or maybe I am staring at the refracted reflection of myself being interpreted subconsciously by many of those around me. I haven't broached the subject with any of the strangers who've seemingly singled me out in a crowd with random small talk or questions on which bus goes where, but I am seemingly 'approachable' which, in all honesty, had never previously been the case... A lifetime has passed where I've been accustomed to finding myself the only inhabitant of this side of the street, and now here are strangers, looking to me for whatever company or information they required, and often these encounters find their way into some like minded views of topics I write about here, despite my not having steered the conversation in the least.

I'm not seeking the hidden meaning of it, be that aura, resonance, magnetism, self-confidence, or vibratory states because it's likely a combination of many of these. But it does show me an inkling of the whole of all people, and give me a sense of just what obstacles or owners failed to contemplate even if I'm only seeing a unique and localized event-horizon, I feel it is a growing and spreading state of mind as people are less afraid of shedding the misconceptions so carefully concocted and spoon fed to us the spans of many lives.

-dirtykid©

...Of Unfinished Thoughts, And Other Derailments

My last posting appears to have ended rather abruptly into a rage against the world, it isn't often that I apologize for saying what I've said or as the case is not saying what I didn't say, but, as it stands, I actually am sorry for having not said whatever I came here to say... Now that we are good and confused, unless we're actually bad and confused, I'll apologize again because it's unlikely that I will be able to say whatever I meant to say in the same way that I would have said it 2 days ago because that train of thought rolled off its tracks and headlong into a wall of consequence where it became irreparably damaged.

Now that that's all cleared up, or at least been covered up with a body bag, I can say that I do, at least remember where that train was heading... All that 'God is within you' speech was moving towards this point: all the fear, hatred, anger, and contempt we are force fed via media and the bastardization of our quickly dying language is phoney. It doesn't originate in ourselves, it's part of the elaborate programming we've all been subject to through this life, as well as many lives past. We don't own it, and it doesn't own us. Fear isn't even an emotion, it's an instinct which tends to be used against us to such a tremendous and abusive rate that people are afraid of what others may think if they walk out the house without being decked out in the latest haute couture... Let that one sit in your brain for a minute... How is this a life or death situation that we can't step outside without our Manolo Fuckits or Tommy Teabaggers on?!!! Quite simply, it isn't and never was.

All this vanity was created for the purpose of turning your labours into the bankroll of filthy rich pigs who, upon realizing that art school was too hard began stapling pigeon feathers to footwear and double-cheeked fake kissing anyone they met and overusing the word fabulous to give the impression that they are eccentric and therefore must shit Picasso's in their bed at night. Yes, we hate ourselves to feed the wealthy and drive the sales of products made by children and slaves in places without a law against such things, and somehow this is supposed to make us whole and complete and we feel good about ourselves... For a short while... There's a reason that feeling doesn't last long: it wasn't our feeling in the first place, it was implanted in us from the outside...

Like so many of the things we feel...

If this is still making sense, then you likely realize that love, empathy, compassion, trust, patience, and acceptance are the internal emotions being subdued by those which are being implanted... There is no need of major analysis, or study groups to see just how lacking so many of us have become in these emotions, which can only imply an engineered targeting of these by whomever thinks these traits are either bad or dangerous... Sure love and trust can end badly, but their rewards far exceed their risks when applied correctly. I'm not saying caution be dammed because the hooligans who've been switching out our emotions with powdered decaf are among us and know how to blend in much better than I can these days, and they'd stop at nothing to steal back your fragile trusts and feed once again on your broken dreams... Again, best litmus test I have is finding out who laughs when an elderly lady falls down, or when someone kicks a puppy... I'm sure I could list a few others, but I really don't need to go to my dark place right now..

-dirtykid©

God, The Godless, And The Ugly Truth

I know I don't often speak of God here, and in so saying, let's call not often, almost never. It isn't simply because I am an agnostic who's chosen to forge his own path through this life but also that I tend to zone out when anybody around me gets preachy for the simple fact that I view religion as a long running control system wherein the brainwashed denizens congregate on a set schedule to be programmed by the person standing in the front of the room...

That isn't too say I hold no belief in the great beyond, and other things both unknown and unseen. No. But I also won't claim god as a singular entity either. I perceive god as the soul within all of us, unless you are one of the soul sucking Zionist, banker, supremist, vampire rats I so frequently like to lash out towards in these pages... Because they are demonspawn as are all the rat-bastards who feel compelled to do their bidding, yes you know who you are, you corrupt politicians, warmongers, mouth-breathing chain of command pit bull cops, and lying through your teeth media whores. Oh, and let's not forget anyone in the education system whose sole joy in life has been to suck the imagination right out of our children in the effort to churn out generations of mindless automatons. HEY! TEACHER! LEAVE THOSE KIDS ALONE!

So we are left with the rest of us... The litmus test is simple enough, if you are not prone to outbursts of wicked cackling when seeing someone kick a puppy, I'm probably talking about you. You are god to some degree or another, the degrees of which will vary depending on your tendencies and tenacities but the bottom line is really on how much good or bad you inflict on others... Now I don't mean this in any sexual sense unless you were inflicting your will on the unconsenting or unable to consent, because that puts you in the rank and file of banker douchbags, but what happens between consenting people is their own business.

So there it is, all around us, you're god, I'm god, this is the omnipotence, this is the unity, we were all one and we will be again. This is why we spend lifetimes searching for the person who makes us feel whole, because when we came to be here, we gave up our oneness to be this incomplete and imperfect version of what we were... We don't need to pray to the Egyptian DEMON Amon (aka, ahmen, aka AMEN familiar? hmmm?). We only ever need to look into ourselves, past the layers of fashion magazine 50 ways to make your dick bigger, 45 ways to please a man, and all those other reasons we've been fed to fuel a hatred towards our own selves. All the answers are there once you dig past the veneer of brainwashing rhetoric engineered for the purpose of selling a product or service.

Results will vary only in degrees from person to person in much the same manner as the definition of love does... I've never felt more right about anything, and yet like love, I can't tell you what to feel nor how to feel about itlist when you get there...

On that note I must finish this and go into a job interview... (12:45)

.... (13:15) ....

I have just set a new record time for not getting the job.... After all this attempt at being positive and filled with joy and love in the posting, I was told I am too negative and probably uncoachable. It's nice that my interviewer choose not to waste any more of "my" time, which is seemingly of little value under my present salary structure, but I think she meant her time given that zero times anything is still zero.

I guess that I really can't blend into this world of fakes, liars, and sleeping minions anymore, but at least she was somewhat honest... Must be time to start considering other options...

-dirtykid©

The end of the World as We Know It

I just witnessed a microcosm, or maybe it was a macrocosm because I could see it, of the end of days. Here in Montreal it was a windy afternoon and evening, power failures started popping up in spots throughout the area, and I was to attend a birthday in a restaurant with take out and delivery. A place whose speciality is roast chicken. I order a quarter chicken breast, as do many of the 15 people at the table. 15, or 20 minutes pass and the waitress returns to inform us: the restaurant is out of roasted, quarter chicken...

We (mostly) take this in stride with the commentary that this place specializes in roasted chicken, but change our orders. I chose the steak, as close to uncooked as they'd do and another 20 oz beer, and rejoined the conversation. Another 15 or 20 minutes passes... The waitress returns with, we're out of steak, leaving mr a choice of, salad, chicken fingers, or radiation poisoning à là salmon that might be from the Fukushima infested Pacific. You only live once, so I ordered the Salmon, and asked if they were out of beer yet... They weren't and the 3rd 20 OZ beer came into arms reach. So now we're a table full of people who've been drinking on an empty stomach who have more or less seen the humour of the situation...

But suddenly I realized, I didn't verbalize it, because I figured it would cause a mutiny, but I realized that this is just how lean the supply chain of the entire planet has been scaled down to. Gas stations frequently run out of gas even if for only a few hours, stores don't want to be left holding the bag on inventory nobody wants to buy, nor do manufacturing plants. It would be understandable where perishable goods are concerned, or with exorbitantly expensive items like cars which also take up a whole lot of space... But this truly was a reflection of our world in a state of collapse.

While I am speaking of it, unless I was only thinking of it, which means I'll say it whether it fits or not: which moron decided that canned and pickled items need an expiry date on them and when? I seem to recall a time when you could eat canned veggies in a store brand so old you no longer remember where that store used to live before Walmart evicted them. But then they say memories dim over time so maybe I wasn't really there in the first place. I'm simply putting out the food for thought, ultimately it's on you to eat or not and makes little difference in my life. But of course there's the limited time offer because at exactly midnight of October 21st 2016 all the rat poison coating the interior of this can mystically activates et voila your wax beans of doomsday survival are simply wax beans of doom.

Unless Monsanto was involved in any phase prior to you putting it on your shelf in which case, foiget abaat it. Plans inside of plans inside of plans, and every juncture designed to coral you like the cattle they perceive you to be. Don't look at me, I didn't make the rules, and usually don't choose to live by them, which, I might add really helps draw ones attention to them...

Living on the edge of civilization often brings about the ability to point out who thinks inside the box, while knowing full well that there is no box. The inverse of this works too: those so hopelessly dependent on my not being right tend to get a weird sensation from my presence, that I don't even have to open my mouth to feel shunned anymore. Yes I can now feel the distain and palpable dread of those among us too afraid to think for themselves while people avoid the seat next me on the crowded bus, and I don't look ghastly, unclean, nor brutishly different than anyone else... I simply vibrate in a different resonance than everyone else... I really only bite when asked :-p

-DIrtyKID©

Off to my next job interview... At Target... Maybe the 3rd time is the charm...