I was reading somewhere that city councillors are investigating new snow removal methods, this got me thinking back to before the great Montreal merger when the city I lived in did a great job of removing the snow. I pondered over the fact that the old way seemed to work effectively so why not just do that rather than reinvent the wheel? Then I realised that the system had somehow drawn me in and enticed me to feed it energy... That's really not me, and since I was walking around in the poorly cleared streets at the time, I immediately began j-walking across the street, then j-walked back because this chicken didn't need the other side, but simply needed to inject an incoherent decision into my immediate surroundings. Yes I inflicted my will on the world simply to reinforce my desire to be in control of myself.
I know it changed nothing outside of myself because nobody else's path was even the slightest bit altered. That wasn't the purpose of the exercise. Now maybe someone watched from a window and wondered why someone was drunk at 7:00am, and maybe I was the sole person to witness my little demonstration. It doesn't matter either way so long as my mindset was changed. I do things like this all the time as I find it changes the mood and resets the tone, sometimes only for me, and sometimes for everyone around me.
I don't always have any immediate justification behind what I say, do, or think, but I am usually immediate in doing or saying what I think. Often I even feel that this is almost a unique trait that sometimes loses potential allies, business relations, or even friends, but then, I suppose having to constantly explain or justify myself to people all the time doesn't make for good friendship material to begin with as it saps the energy right out of you to constantly explain things, especially if they aren't yet fully understood internally.
Knowing may well be half the battle, understanding is the other, often much harder battle. I sometimes don't get the 'why' of things for many years after they've occurred yet other times it is immediately apparent. 9-11 was a great example of only half realising the 'why' for many years, even if something wasn't right about the whole situation from the beginning. Building 7's collapse being foretold by the media was one such example of not quite right and the disappearing eyewitness accounts of bombs in basements was another. We all pretty well know the why by now even if all evidence was sped off to China to be turned into battleships to later be deployed to the places who would be accused of having aided and abetted the act with their fictitious weapons of mass destruction.
I'd post links, but don't feel it's even required at this point as I've done it all before.
I've lost my train of thought...
I've lost many other things too, but I've learned I didn't really need them in the first place otherwise I might have tried to replace them by now. No, my stuff could be reasonably packed into a small closet should the need arise and the things I might need access to would fit into a shopping cart. Though I can't see actually doing that given my loathing of both shopping and the cart you rode in on.
Speaking of which, my girlfriend was noting at the grocery store, that planning out healthy home made meals seemed to cost as much or more than eating at restaurants... She might be starting to finally awaken to the reality of the engineered world of consumerism, but I'm still not sure she's ready to be pushed off that cliff yet, pity, but I really don't think she can handle the trauma of the entire world unraveling into the control-matrix I see no matter which direction I attempt to avert my eyes to. And yet, I'm still missing a few pieces in the grand puzzle of the big picture, at least I think I am.
There's always something akin to the other shoe dropping, and I frequently question when they'll run out of shoes, but then anyone in the business of manufacturing something out of nothing probably never runs out of the nothing used in the creation of something, if that makes any sense. It likely doesn't but I wasn't the math genius behind the equation where I somehow owe more of something I didn't borrow in the first place than I'll even earn in the end... And to people I've never met to top it off... I know it sounds crazier every time I explain it, but that the planet seems to continue to run on this crazy in perpetuity is the craziest concept of them all. With so many versions of the exact same story cropping up from all over the place it should, by now, be obvious even to the most oblivious yet that's somehow not the case. Maybe it's all in just how insane it sounds and that stigma inherent in the word insanity.
I suppose it's also in the idea planted from as early as ideas begin to take shape in our youth(s) (or yuuts, as my cousin Vinny would say): shipped off to indoctrination camps and rewarded for hive-mind group-think... Little Johnny got an F minus for 'plays well with others' and was shipped off to remedial play camp to stitch sneakers all summer.
Maybe I paint a graphically over-exaggerated story or maybe I paint a possible future as mapped out by our possible past and present. And I say possible past only because the parts of it I was around to remember are somewhat different than what we're currently being told, and since our present is all biased towards the current rewritten history of events as they never happened before I'm inclined to wonder if now really exists at all...
-dirtykid©
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